3/12/23
Newsletter #272
The Crack of Dawn
In 1978 when we were 19-20, Bruce and I decided to make a “squib,” which is an explosive blood pack worn under clothing to simulate a bullet hit. We taped a firecracker to a tin plate, filled a plastic bag with fake blood, taped it on top of the firecracker, then affixed the plate to a belt. I said, “Let’s put it on a tree.” Bruce said, “No, we have to test it on a person.” He took off his shirt and undershirt, then I strapped the belt around his chest. Bruce put his undershirt back on over the squib. Skeptical, I asked, “Are you sure?” Bruce said, “Sure I’m sure.” I lit the fuse and Bruce pulled his white undershirt down over the squib. The firecracker blew up the blood bag and his shirt was immediately covered with blood. It worked. A second later Bruce began to stagger, then fell down. He took off his bloody undershirt revealing that the firecracker had exploded backward blowing a hole in the tin plate directly into his chest. Bruce had a black and blue mark for at least a month. But we’d taken a giant step forward in film technology.
By the time I shot Thou Shalt Not Kill…Except in 1984 I had an FX supervisor, Gary Jones, who handled all of the squibs – thank goodness – but I still had 20-25 real weapons, real ammunition, and blanks on my set. I wouldn’t trust this job, called the armorer, to anyone and took it myself, with the help of my assistant director, Ann. We put all the weapons in her trunk and I said, “I’m the only one who has access. Don’t open the trunk for anyone else.” When we needed weapons, being the incredible wit that I am, I would call, “Annie, get the guns.”
If blanks were being fired, which meant that actors were handling real weapons, Gary took over because he made the blanks. Shotgun shells are easy, and you can just buy blanks for a .45 or a .38, but our main weapon was a 30-30 Winchester. Gary pulled out the lead bullets and packed them with cotton. It just works. I can see the cotton coming out of that gun, though no one else does. However, if any weapon was firing real ammunition, the law on my set was that I was the only one allowed to handle it. Using real ammunition on a movie set is a very big deal, and even at 25 years old we all understood that it would be really easy to shoot someone.
I have a scene where my hero, Stryker, shoots the villain’s car to pieces. The actor fires the Winchester with the cotton blanks. Every shot that hits the car, and there are many, is real ammunition blowing an actual car apart, and I fired every one of those shots. I used a 12-gauge shotgun and I fired a hundred shots into that car. The next day my right armpit and shoulder were black and blue, and my arm didn’t work.
On my next film, Lunatics: A Love Story, I actually had a 1st assistant director. I guess this is the point of my story, and it’s in regard to the hapless Mr. Alec Baldwin. Unlike the previous film where I had tons of guns, on Lunatics I was still using one real weapon that fired. Once again, I didn’t have an armorer, but Gary Jones handled the blanks and squibs. The actual .38 Police Special was handled exclusively by John Cameron, the 1st assistant director (who went on to produce many of the Coen Bros. movies). Please keep in mind that in the Alec Baldwin case, the armorer – who was completely incompetent – and Alec Baldwin are being charged, not the 1st AD. A good 1st AD, like John was, takes complete control of their set, which they’re in charge of and responsible for, when a real weapon is on their set. We were working with empty shells and blanks – there was no real ammunition on that set – and John was the one who declared in his booming voice, “Cold weapon” or “Hot weapon,” meaning it had a blank or it didn’t. The person who is making that declaration – “cold weapon, hot weapon” – is the 1st AD. The 1st AD runs the set. If a 1st AD takes a weapon from the armorer, no matter how stupid and incompetent they might be, and declares it “Cold” and it’s “Hot,” (with, God forbid, a live shell in it), it’s 100% the 1st AD’s responsibility, and absolutely not the actor’s fault (the “armorer” should be shot). Actor’s must be able to implicitly trust their crews not to fuck them so they can go into make-believe world. The 1st AD on this movie, Rust, has fucked Alec Baldwin, and horribly – and ironically – not been charged, because civilians don’t understand moviemaking.
However, Alec Baldwin, whom I personally like as an actor (despite his moronic brother), is culpable as co-producer. He obviously hired the worst, cheapest crew possible: the dregs of New Mexico. A twenty-one-year-old armorer whose only qualification is that her dad was an armorer? Really? And she brought live ammo to the set? She’s an IDIOT, with a capital IDIOT.
Alec as an actor is innocent, but so what? He’s just one more cheap, stupid Hollywood producer. “I’ll get a film incentive in New Mexico, then I’ll hire my crew behind the local cantina.”
I can assure you that knuckleheaded 1st AD, the one who is unjustly getting away with murder, is not a DGA member. You can’t be that stupid and be in the DGA, they won’t allow it.
Meanwhile, it’s perfectly temperate here in Delray Beach, Florida. Soon, a new – undoubtedly fabulous – day will dawn. I can’t wait.