4/30/23
Newsletter #322
The Crack of Dawn
I meant to put in this photo of 19-year-old Francis “Two-Gun” Crowley yesterday.
Jimmy Kimmel has a new, snotty nickname for Donald Trump every night. This week one of them was, “Vladimir Gluten.”
Here’s an oldie but goodie: an assistant asks President Clinton, “Excuse me, sir, but what do you want to do about the abortion bill?” Bill Clinton says, “Pay it.”
In my endless ruminations about storytelling, I’m always listening for any wisdom that can be applied to the subject. This week Bill Maher interviewed Elon Musk, who is an odd, inarticulate, though upbeat and likable, character. Bill anointed him, “Mayor of Tweet Town.” I’m paraphrasing like hell, but Bill asked a question that ended with, “Is that what you expected?” In his halting fashion Musk replied, “I don’t anticipate the expected result; I anticipate the ironic ending.”
Irony is one of my favorite concepts, and writing goals, because it’s so difficult to achieve. Irony isn’t even easy to define, although we know it when we see it (like pornography). Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary’s definition is: Irony, n. 1. a method of humorous or sarcastic expression in which the intended meaning of the words used is the direct opposite of their usual sense; as, the speaker was using irony when he said that the stupid plan was “very clever.” 3. a combination of circumstances or a result that is the opposite of what might be expected or considered appropriate; as, it was an irony of fate that the fireboat burned and sank.
I’ve heard this my whole life, but I don’t know why it is: Americans don’t get irony. Seemingly, we Yanks like our stories straightforward – fuck with Dirty Harry and he’ll shoot you with his .44 Magnum. The end. In my endless scrolling through YouTube I found a rant by a bright, well-spoken, 20-something, white male, entitled something like, “Who Needs Irony?” Almost pleading, he asked over and over again, “What’s the point?” In essence he was saying that it’s hard enough to understand things that are leading directly to their point, why intentionally obfuscate? He didn’t say, “obfuscate,” but anyway. If you have a point to make, make it. He said, “What good does irony do?”
Indeed. What good does it do? I am put in mind of young Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve (1941). He is a herpetologist on a cruise ship, and we see him reading, Are Snakes Necessary? Well, are they?
From my standpoint as a writer, irony is the next level up from simply having a point. For me, if a story can just tie up its plot, that’s enough, it doesn’t also have to have a point. But should you actually have a point, and it’s also ironic, in which case it’s the opposite of what you mean, most Americans will be left behind, having dropped out of the race, wheezing and panting.
Here's a great, smart, quick example of irony that tickles the shit out of me: Zhang Yimou’s film, To Live (1994), begins in 1949 in China in a high-class casino. A handsome, well-dressed young man, from a respected, successful family, is on a bad losing streak. We come to understand that this run of bad luck has been going on for a while. Then, to the young man’s horror, his pretty young wife (played by the pretty young Gong Li), clutching their infant baby, comes into the casino where women are forbidden, and tearfully pleads with him to stop gambling and come home. She is taken away, and the young man then bets and loses the ancestral family house. The family is completely wiped out. They are evicted and new tenants occupy their house. They have nothing. They stand on the side of the road looking utterly bereft. The young man is a unforgivable disgrace.
Mao Zedong’s Communist Revolution occurs. All rich capitalistic pigs are summarily executed, including the house’s new tenants, but not them; they have nothing; they’re poor, but good. The young man’s misfortune has saved them, and now he’s not only no longer a disgrace, he’s kind of a hero. And that’s just act one.
As a writer, I have tried to be ironic to whatever extent I was able in much of my writing for most of my life, but it wasn’t my main goal. It’s hard enough just having a point, let alone misleading the audience into believing you have yet a different point is like juggling extra balls.
I think I pulled it off in Alien Apocalypse (2005) for SyFy Network, which was their highest-rated movie for a couple of years. In the future, alien termites have infested and overtaken Earth. Humans are all slaves working in the sawmills cutting wood to be shipped back to their planet, where it’s a delicacy. Four astronauts from a deep space mission return to Earth and find humans enslaved by aliens. The crew’s doctor (Bruce Campbell), whose dream is to be known as the Great Healer, ends up leading the revolution, freeing the humans, and becomes known as the Great Exterminator. Spoiler alert, too late. I just saved you $1.99.
Let’s open the shade. It’s 5:57 AM, Eastern Standard Time, and it’s black as night. In fact, it is night. But in mere moments it will be . . . The Crack of Dawn.
L’chaim!