9/9/2025
Newsletter #791
The Crack of Dawn
Let’s pick up this story from where Scott Spiegel and I had just completed making his film Night Crew. We discovered during that process that not only could we work together in a harmonious fashion, we both made each other laugh. With that in mind, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
At that point, I had made a number of Super-8 movies, several of which had purported to be comedies. My last two films, The Final Round and Acting & Reacting, both looked good, particularly for Super-8 at that time, but they were comedies and they weren’t funny. Well-lit, cleverly shot, logically edited, but not funny. The Final Round is the one and only time I ever starred in my own movie. I am terrible. I’m shamelessly channeling Woody Allen, and not pulling it off. Acting & Reacting may actually have a few laughs, but it’s not even a comedy. The best moment in the movie is between Scott and Bruce on a futuristic walkway. It’s a good dramatic scene, with a long pullback up the walkway, set to cool Brian Eno music. Cinematic, yes; funny, no.
Although I was ahead of the curve as a filmmaker for a brief moment, I was at that time considered the unfunny one. I really didn’t like the position. I had a chip on my shoulder and felt like I had something to prove. Seeing the opportunity, I suggested to Scott that we make a comedy together. A funny comedy. A short film, 10-20 minutes, on Super-8. Scott was immediately 100% for it. So he and I promptly met up at a nearby diner for a cup of coffee. Lots of coffee and lots of cigarettes later, as hard as we tried, we kept coming up blank. Scott kept returning to doing a horror parody, but I’d had enough horror. I wanted to make a comedy that wasn’t a parody. A comedy for the sake of just being a comedy. We sat there for a long time. Both of us were drawing a blank. We had nothing. That’s when the power of the universe stepped in. Our waitress arrived, and she was wearing Coke bottle-thick glasses. She asked, “More coffee?” Scott and I both said yes. As she refilled our cups, she kept missing. Scott and I had our idea for a comedy. A blind waitress.
Scott was the manager of Walnut Lake Market. Next to the market was Maria’s Pizzeria. Scott and I asked the owner of Maria’s if we could shoot there when they were closed on Sunday and they amazingly said yes. Okay. We had a location, but we didn’t have a script. So Scott and I went to Maria’s on a Sunday when it was closed. I had a pad of paper and a pen. We slowly walked through the restaurant thinking of antics for the blind waitress, a dumb waiter, a mean chef, and unsuspecting guests. In a couple of hours Scott and I had come up with more than enough gags for a 15-minute film. We quickly wrote The Blind Waitress, which was easy and fun, since it was just stringing a bunch of gags together.
Now we had a script and a location, but no waitress. Our first and only choice was Ellen Sandweiss from Evil Dead, but she turned us down. She had some bullshit reason like finishing college. Scott and I had no second choice. I swear this is true. We tossed out names of possible actresses, but none of them seemed right for the part. Finally, very politely, Bruce Campbell calmly interrupted us and asked, “Have you considered making it a waiter instead of a waitress?” We had not. Since Scott and I had both seen her for real, we knew exactly what we were looking for. We asked Bruce, “Have you anyone in mind?” Bruce said, “I do.” That’s why we ended up making The Blind Waiter, with Bruce Campbell as the Blind Waiter, instead of The Blind Waitress.
Maria’s closed at 10:00 PM on Saturday, then didn’t reopen until noon on Monday. That gave us 38-hours of unimpeded shooting, which was enough time to shoot the entire 15-minute film. The film cut together reasonably well, and when we showed it, people laughed exactly where they were meant them to laugh. To me it was a crowning success. It was my first funny comedy. Yes, it’s silly as shit, and derivative as hell, but I think it’s funny. I was very pleased with it and so was Scott.
For those who have nothing better to do, here is the film in all of its raw beauty – bruce campbell blind waiter - Google Search
So Scott and I then both thought, “If it worked once, maybe it’ll work again.”
Inexorably leading us to Scott’s and my next comedy short, Torro, Torro, Torro!
More to come.
I still can't believe that Scott and I didn't think of him.
I always loved The Blind Waiter. That Bruce guy might have a future.