4/17/23
Newsletter #309
The Crack of Dawn
I’ve tried very hard over the course of these 309 newsletters to not repeat myself. Some stories, however, cross into other stories, so there’s been a bit of repetition. This is the first time I’m just grabbing something from earlier – Newsletter #5, almost a year ago – and repeating it. Why? Because I still feel guilty, that’s why.
Oh, this is awful. As a kid of twelve or thirteen I just loved the actress Joan Leslie – she was so cute and perky and sincere. Ms. Leslie had a particularly impressive, and shockingly short, career. She co-starred in Sergeant York with Gary Cooper in 1941. Wearing overalls and sporting a broad southern accent, she plays the girlfriend of Alvin York, conscientious objector, then the big hero of WWI, and Joan Leslie is so cute you could die. She also co-stars with James Cagney in Yankee Doodle Dandy in 1942. In a duet, Cagney and Leslie sing the song, Mary, Plain as Any Name Could Be.
Maybe ten years ago I decided to buy the song Yankee Doodle Dandy from the original soundtrack from the now defunct iTunes. They had a special that for two more dollars I could have the entire soundtrack, so I went for it. As I listened I immediately realized that it was not Joan Leslie singing, even though she had clearly sung her part in the movie. As I checked further, Warner Bros. had in fact replaced her on the soundtrack recording, and another vocalist is listed.
So, I got on the internet, looked up Joan Leslie, and gosh darn it if she wasn’t still alive, about 90 years old, and still accepting fan mail. I wrote her a gushing fan letter — something I never do — ending with, “Why aren’t you on the soundtrack recording?” She wrote back, “I’m not? Well I certainly did my own singing in the movie.” She died soon thereafter. Joan Leslie’s career was over by 1950; I didn’t contact her until at least 2010. Therefore, long after she thought the misery of Hollywood was over, I was able to bring her just a little bit more grief regarding her short, though glorious, Hollywood career before she died. I feel a little bad for being the messenger of bad news, but hell, I didn’t replace her on the soundtrack. Blame Jack Warner.
And every time I hear any of the songs from Yankee Doodle Dandy – the whole soundtrack is on my iPod, so when it’s on shuffle it comes up regularly – my guilt is once again reignited.
Meanwhile, look out for your brain because I’m changing subjects, I’m a big fan of the author Philip Roth and have read many of his books, though still haven’t read all of them. Also about ten years ago — the same time I was ruining Joan Leslie’s life — I said wistfully to my sister Pam, “I’ll never write as well as Philip Roth.” Pam is a big fan of Oprah Winfrey, and reiterating her words, said, “Oh, sure you can. If you just put your mind to it, and try harder.” Both Pam and Oprah’s encouraging words are commendable, they’re just not true. Philip Roth could write better than me when he was a teenager. The universe doesn’t distribute talent evenly, or brains, or beauty. Where it’s most obvious, I think, is in sports. When Shaquille O’Neil first appeared on the scene, I recall watching him in awe – a seven-foot, 300-pound monster with breathtaking coordination, tremendous skill, and brains! What are the rest of us supposed to do? Some people are just born more talented, or more coordinated, or bigger. Them’s the breaks.
Anyway, in 2006 I was reading Philip Roth’s book, Operation Shylock. In his long, prolific career, Roth employed at least three different doppelgangers to replace him: Nathan Zuckerman, David Kepesh, and Philip Roth. Obviously, Zuckerman and Kepesh are just alternate versions of Roth with a different name. But then he got to a point where he was using the name Philip Roth for a character who was a lot like him, but not him. And in Operation Shylock Philip Roth finds out that an imposter calling himself Philip Roth has given several incendiary speeches in Israel that put him, the real Philip Roth (who is a character in a Philip Roth novel) into the spotlight as an anti-Semite. So, Philip Roth goes to Israel to find and confront this other ersatz Philip Roth.
Meanwhile, while I was reading this book, I was hired to direct Stan Lee’s Harpies for SyFy Network. The film was shot in Sofia, Bulgaria, at UFO Studios, owned by an American named Phillip Roth. Only he has two Ls in Phillip.
Coincidence? I’ll let you decide.
I woke up feeling guilty about Joan Leslie. For fifty or more years of my life Joan Leslie was exclusively an unreal, black and white image in old Warner Brothers’ movies, just like Bette Davis or James Cagney. That I blundered into her life right near the end just to give her some disappointing information seems unfair. I want to register a complaint. Why was I used so egregiously? And, underlying much of what I do here with this newsletter, is I hope this causes one person to check out Sergeant York or Yankee Doodle Dandy, or God forbid, both, and see who Joan Leslie is. Not was. In the movies it’s present tense. In the movies Joan Leslie is very much alive, and cute as a button.
Well, let’s all have a good day anyway. We’ll show ‘em.