1/27/23
Newsletter #232
The Crack of Dawn
I don’t know where other people’s minds go when they’re “not thinking,” which isn’t really possible, but I assume it’s to topics like: sports, sex, repeating a mantra, rehearsing an argument, or whatever. My mind goes to coming up with rhymes for song lyrics, or thinking of silly lists. Here’s my silly list of yesterday. The subject is: what songs are no longer politically correct?
1. Thank Heaven For Little Girls (from Gigi)
2. Fat Bottomed Girls (Queen) – Left alone with big fat Fanny/She was such a naughty nanny/Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me
3. Short People (Randy Newman) – They got little hands/And little eyes/And they walk around/Tellin' great big lies/They got little noses/And tiny little teeth/They wear platform shoes/On their nasty little feet
4. Fat Man (Jethro Tull) – Don’t want to be a fat man/People would think that I was just good fun/I’d rather be a thin man/And glad to go on being one
5. Shine (Louis Armstrong, then from Casablanca, sung by Sam, the black piano player) – Just because my teeth are pearly/Just because my hair is curly/Just because I always wear a smile/Like to dress up in the latest style/'Cause I'm glad I'm livin'/I take these troubles all with a smile/Just because my color's shady/That's the difference, maybe, why they call me Shine
6. Boys (The Beatles) – Well, I talk about boys (yeah, yeah, boys)/Don't ya know I mean boys (yeah, yeah, boys)/Well, I talk about boys, now (yeah, yeah, boys)/Aah, boys (yeah, yeah, boys)/Well, I talk about boys, now (yeah, yeah, boys)/What a bundle of joy! (yeah, yeah, boys)
7. Young Girl (Gary Puckett & the Union Gap) – Young girl, get out of my mind/My love for you is way out of line/Better run, girl/You're much too young, girl/And though you know/That it is wrong to be/Alone with me/That come on look is in your eyes, oh oh oh
8. Ziggy Stardust (David Bowie) – Ziggy really sang/Screwed-up eyes and screwed-down hairdo/Like some cat from Japan
9. Kaw-Liga (Hank Williams) – Poor ol' Kaw-Liga, he never got a kiss/Poor ol' Kaw-Liga, he don't know what he missed/Is it any wonder that his face is red?/Kaw-Liga, that poor old wooden head
And in what is perhaps the most blatant example of virtue signaling:
10. We Are the Champions (Queen) – We are the champions, my friends/And we'll keep on fighting till the end/We are the champions/We are the champions/No time for losers/'Cause we are the champions of the World
The first digital effect ever used in a movie was in 1973 in Westworld. Writer-director, Michael Crichton (at 6’9”, the tallest graduate of Harvard Medical School), wanted to remove Yul Brynner’s face to reveal that he was really a robot, and there was no way to do it that he thought looked any good at all. Crichton went to all of the special effects houses in Hollywood and they had no idea what he was talking about. At that time there were only two kinds of effects: optical, like superimposing one image on top of another; or mechanical (also called practical), like a skeleton popping up, or a miniature airplane on strings. Crichton’s explanation of zeroes and ones fell on deaf ears. So, he went to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. They understood, and said that they could do it, but it would take a million dollars and nine months. Crichton said, “My entire budget is a million dollars and I have to deliver a finished movie in nine months.” So he found a little laboratory that was able to pull off the one effect. I must admit, when I saw it in the theater as a kid, it scared the shit out of me.
My cat Tommy just appeared and is circling me. He is making little purring noises and is demanding that I pet him, which I’m doing. I am so good at what I do, and have such extreme dexterity, that I can both write with one hand and pet a cat with another. This took many years of training.
Inshallah.