The Crack of Dwn
12/13/22
Newsletter #186
The Crack of Dawn
On Hercules and Xena I became very good friends with the assistant coordinator, Edith. She went strictly by just Edith. She was the crew’s shorthaired, militant lesbian, and since it was 30 years ago, she was the only one. Edith was awesome. She drove an old Holden, the only 8-cylinder muscle car available down there in New Zealand and Australia, and she had an 80-pound pit bull named after Kali, the Hindu goddess of war. Edith would pick me up at the airport at 6:00 AM (after a 12-hour flight), give me a thick manila envelope of the script, the script changes, the schedule, a bunch of other stuff, and since we were friends and she understood me, an ounce of tasty New Zealand weed.
She would drop me at whatever apartment I was staying in, where a rental car was waiting, and I had to move in, shower, dress, get my shit together, then drive to the Pacific Renaissance office – driving on the other side of the road, with the steering wheel on the other side of the car. I generally handled this task fine, but one time I misjudged everything and at the end of the apartment’s driveway, making my first turn I took the entire side of the car off on a tree. Luckily, it was a rental car, the best all-terrain vehicles.
I would then attend the HOD meeting. This was the head of department meeting where I, the director, would impart to the heads of the departments – perhaps ten people, including the producer, co-producer, DP, production designer, head wrangler (we had Horace the horse wrangler), costumes, FX, makeup, everybody – my vision of this episode. It was a performance as far as I was concerned, and it had to include every detail of how I envisioned every effect and stunt. I loved doing it, but it was extremely difficult and I thought unfair to foist on a director after a 12-hour flight. After this occurred about six times, angry and expecting a fight, I finally got up the chutzpah to confront Eric, the producer. I said, “Wouldn’t it be better to give me a day to get my shit together before the HOD meeting?” Eric said, “Sure. Good idea.” I thought, “That’s all it took? Asking?”
Edith either got fired or quit in Xena’s 6th season. I met with her for coffee, and she told me in a strange, faraway tone that her buddy, Jane, the show’s coordinator, with whom she lived, had asked her to leave. Jane suddenly “needed her space.” Edith’s monster Holden wouldn’t start. She and Kali had nowhere to live. I was very concerned, but she wasn’t. I asked if she needed any money and she said no. She and Kali walked away.
Edith called me within two hours and she had won the lottery – $300,000 – which in New Zealand they wire directly into your bank; no taxes. Edith and her gorgeous girlfriend moved to Wellington and bought a house.
Edith has more adventures, and I’ll return to them.
I took the ferry from Sausalito to San Francisco yesterday. I bought brand new copies of Charles Bukowski books, now with R. Crumb covers, at the City Lights Bookstore.